Kali Explains It All

Meet my babydaddy

2006-09-08T15:06:00.000-04:00

Tory, Tory, Tory.

You rock my world, you special effects-making daredevil, science geek. You truly do.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 22

2006-08-10T11:03:00.000-04:00

Welcome the new Companion, Martha Jones.

Filming has commenced on Series Three.

I am so happy, I'm about to cry.

My Patron Saint

2006-08-01T15:30:00.000-04:00

"What made my dreams so hollow, standing at the depot, with a steeple full of swallows that could never ring a bell? I've come ten thousand miles with not one thing to show...it was a train that took me away from you, and now a train can't bring me home." -- "Train Song"

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 21

2006-07-31T12:38:00.000-04:00

It's odd to see the Ninth Doctor in such oddly formal Victorian clothes, but I'm okay with that.

Have I mentioned how much I love this man?

But I don't even care about fashion!

2006-07-26T14:55:00.000-04:00

I go through these weird phases of liking shows that aren't worth really watching--Flavor of Love, My Fair Brady,America's Next Top Model etc.--and wonder why I'm so endlessly fascinated at the visual car wrecks contained therein. It's not like any of these shows are going to make me smarter; quite the reverse, it would seem. And yet, like a moth to a flame, I cannot resist.

Hence, Project Runway.

I'm not entirely sure why this has become Must-See TV for me, but it sure has. Most of my friends will tell you that while I'm not too fashion-impaired, you don't yearn to deign me a fashionista in any sense. And can you imagine anything more boring than watching people sew? Apparently not. I stumbled across repeats of Season 2 a month or so ago on an idle Sunday afternoon, recovering from a staggering hangover. Somehow watching a bunch of bitchy would-be designers go at it with all the gusto of sharks fighting over a surfer was awesome. I became hooked. I loved everything--from the bad outfits to the egos to the slightly robotic Heidi Klum--and I loved watching it in marathon form. I was aghast when the very pretty Daniel Vosovic (the favored winner and one of the few gay men I would like to be a boy for a few hours with) lost to Chloe Dao; I anxiously awaited to see what bitchiness would exit Santino Rice's mouth. In other words, I enjoyed myself.

So now Season 3 is upon us and it's hard to watch it on a weekly basis. I want every single episode NOW. Unfortunately, the lot of would-be designers this year seem rather bland, and the one my friends and I thought was going to be the villain was already given the "Auf Weidershen" by Heidi. Alas, I shall continue to watch. I shall continue to give mad-ass props to Tim Gunn, who can cut those snotty fuckers down to size with less than two sentences.

All right. So maybe I need a hobby. Any suggestions?

I've got your fairy tale right here.

2006-07-24T12:02:00.000-04:00

So the Favorite Scientologist and I braved our respective hangovers to see Lady in the Water (aka The Moist Tart) yesterday. And as it is my duty, I give you my review/opinion. Remember: Mama wuvs spoilers (not that are many to give away this time), so if you don't, you best be moving on.

Cleveland Heep is a sad-sack of a man who works as an apartment manager in a Philadelphia building. Immediately we are introduced to the building's wacky assortment of residents: the bodybuilder who only works out on side of his body, the gaggle of stoners, the inexplicably tall mouthy Korean girl, etc. Shyamalan insists on reinforcing just how kooky these people are just so we know that they may or may not be central to the story as it unfolds. Anyway, Heep finds himself embroiled in a real-life fairy tale when a young lady called Story saves him from drowning in the pool. Apparently this young lady, a sort of sea-nymph known as a "narf," is here to trigger an awakening for the benefit of mankind. In order to do that, she must find a writer (i.e., The Vessel) whose words will enable this, but she must also survive being menaced by a wolf-like creature known as a "scrunt." And if that weren't enough to make things already fairly convoluted, Story's story--which we get to hear translated only via the Korean girl's mother, something that became tedious really quickly--also needs to find: The Guild, The Symbolist, The Healer, The Protector. Are you tired yet? I am. Oh wait, did I mention the giant eagle? I didn't? Or how about the lawkeepers of Story's world, tree-monkey-things called Tartutics? Do you see how this movie is unnecessarily complicated?

Honestly, the film was better than I expected it to be, but it still felt so very contrived. Shyamalan tries to tell us a bedtime story but only ends up keeping us awake. There are too many threads in this one, so when he takes on the Herculean task of trying to make the actual fairy-tale and the roles the residents play in it feel magical, his sleight-of-hand doesn't succeed. There are genuine moments in this film, true: humor, pathos, and terror (there far too few of these, if you ask me). But on the whole, I feel he didn't accomplish what he set out to do. He made what should have been a simple too complex; he also seems to believe his own hype. (And I hadn't mentioned that Shyamalan had cast himself as The Vessel, the one whose book will remake the world. Such egotism!) I liked the movie but I recommend it with reservations. It isn't as magical as it should have been and that always disappoints.

On a lighter note, my new favorite show is Eureka on the Sci Fi Channel. It's funny, inventive, and clever. In other words, it is doomed.

What I want for my 30th birthday

2006-07-21T13:08:00.000-04:00

Talk about dark, brooding, and misunderstood.

Talk about spontaneously combusting into lust.

Okay. No more talking.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 20

2006-07-12T14:04:00.000-04:00

End of season two and Rose and the Doctor are separated forever.

"I love you."

"Quite right, too."

And before he can tell her he loves her too, the time vortex closes, thus dividing them for eternity. The Doctor sheds a tear.

I can feel my heart breaking again....

Evil can be cute, too.

2006-07-09T14:55:00.000-04:00

I really don't have a comment for this. I really don't.

We are some scooter crazy freaks.

2006-07-07T17:21:00.000-04:00

Since I work around these guys--and they are some mental individuals, every last one of them--things have gotten weirder. Stranger. And cooler.

I think Haruku from FLCL is pretty much how I'm going to evolve over the next few weeks.

Sweet.

Remember this, yeah?

2006-07-04T03:29:00.000-04:00

Queen Victoria did this, trying to protect you.

Still, hell, you get Captain Jack, you lucky UK bastards.

(P.S., you know I love you guys, right?)

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 19

2006-07-02T03:35:00.000-04:00

Sure, he's no Chris Eccleston, I still wouldn't kick this Scotsman--though pretending a proper city accent for this series--out of my bed.

What have I done? What HAVE I done?

2006-07-01T18:08:00.000-04:00

One of these days I am going to learn how not to act on impulse. I really really am.

One of these days I am just going to settle overseas and find myself a nice only marginally problematic Englishman.

One of these days I will learn from my mistakes.

One of these days I will think twice before kissing one of my co-workers in a bar all because we had a stupid argument about New Order.

One of these days I will wish that he hadn't kissed me first.

One of these days....

Put down that cocktail! You're endangering the country!

2006-06-30T12:46:00.000-04:00

So much for new pub hours.

At this rate, those of us who have vices will be forced to remain indoors, blankets over our windows, and praying Big Mother doesn't see what we do.

If I post something English and funny, will I be forgiven?

2006-06-23T21:18:00.000-04:00

Right. So I apologize for not being prompt but a lot of shit has been going on. I still love all of you and will be back to full on scary Doctor Who speed in a couple of days.

I think a few of you owe me an email and a drink.

Anyway, see you soon...

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 18

2006-06-20T13:51:00.000-04:00

Bunny says if I don't watch myself, then I won't be allowed into the UK.

Ever.

And yet, I cannot resist....

And the award for creepiest drama goes to...

2006-06-19T11:22:00.000-04:00

...Nip/Tuck.

Shaz came over after her disastrous date Saturday with beer in tow and we stayed up until 3 am watching this delightfully trashy show. At some point, I said, "I don't know if it's the alcohol talking, but this may be the best show EVER."

And then bits with the paedophilia and Christian Scientists and the girl with the fucked up face and the molestation came on.

I amended my statement and said, "I take it back. This may be the creepiest show on television."

Still, it's the kind of so trashy it's good. I've been watching it for a while now and the taboos they manage to break astound me. How do they get around the FCC?

Anyway, if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, well, pop yourself some popcorn, get it from Netflix, and rot your brain for a bit. The show will make you feel positively well-rounded.

Oh and Julian McMahon is shirtless and slutty for most of it, so that's all good.

This has left me speechless...

2006-06-16T15:50:00.000-04:00

Jacob's recap of the series one finale.

All I can say is this: no matter how many times I've seen this episode or how many times I read this recap, I will sit here in stunned silence with tears rolling down my face.

I nod my head and understand about the power and beauty of grace and choice.

Open letter to Russell T Davies

2006-06-16T12:15:00.000-04:00

Dear Russell,

Much to the detriment of my long-term standing over at Barbelith, I have sought out the rumors and half-truths surrounding Billie Piper's returning to season three Doctor Who. Well, sir, imagine my surprise when I read this article and this one as well. My sainted stars, that is a tragedy! But sir, might I recommend another way of giving the Doctor a Companion? Has there ever been in the history of the Doctor an American Companion?

(I hear the armies of the faithful light their torches and come for me.)

Think about it! The possibility! A different perspective on the Universe other than the beloved British one. It also gives you a chance to put us Americans in our place via the scripts, if you should so choose.

Imagine: the Doctor wandering around Hyde Park, thinking about the loss of Rose, when he bumps into a young woman who is very clearly lost. Her bewilderment and lack of articulation amuse the Doctor; so much that when she says, "I'm lost. Can you help me (insert landmark here)?" With that brilliant goofy grin of his he replies, "Oh, I could! But would you like to see something even better?" And off he leads her to the TARDIS.

Just my 2p, sir. Or at the very least, make sure the new Companion doesn't start out strong and end up a screaming mess.

Yours very sincerely,

Kali

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 17

2006-06-15T15:18:00.000-04:00

"Oh...hello. Right. Um. New teeth. That's weird. So...Barcelona..."

sigh

2006-06-14T12:06:00.000-04:00

Oh yes, and I haven't made myself clear, my newest English crush is David Walliams from Little Britain.

I'm not entirely sure what it is with me having crushes on men who have appeared in drag at some point, but I don't think it's overly worrying.

This post is slightly hungover.

2006-06-14T09:54:00.000-04:00

So I am going to let the only gays in the Welsh village of Llandewi Brefi take the reins.

(cue Tom Baker narration)

"Meanwhile, the sleepy sad visage of a young woman types uselessly at her computer. I hope she won't notice that we are observing her. Especially since I like observing young women."

Thank you, Sci Fi Channel.

2006-06-13T16:10:00.000-04:00

You are now my best friend. I mean, we're close, not as close BBC and I are, but I will come to your cocktail parties.

Especially after you have given me this wondrous, joyous news regarding the Doctor:

The first season of the new series wrapped up with the season finale last week. The second season will kick off in the U.S. on Sci Fi Channel in October.

Oh blimey, I'm tearing up....

And for those of you reading, why don't you go and check out Torchwood? Seems like a lovely place to have a wedding....or begin a first line of defense against "foreign" threats.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 16

2006-06-13T10:47:00.000-04:00

"Before I go, I just want to tell you, Rose, that you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic! But you know what? So was I!"

Things I have learned from Monty Python's Flying Circus

2006-06-12T15:40:00.000-04:00

1. No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition.

2. That parrot is, indeed, dead.

3. And surprisingly, yes, every sperm is sacred.

You magnificient bastard.

2006-06-09T13:45:00.000-04:00

No, I mean it. You are a magnificient bastard and I want my heart back.

Hey, pally, why the long face?

2006-06-08T11:01:00.000-04:00

I feel like such an ass. One of my heroes, Dean Martin, it was his birthday yesterday.

Here's to you, Dino. I'll raise a scotch on the rocks this weekend and know you're telling the best stories in Heaven.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 15

2006-06-08T10:13:00.000-04:00

David Tennant sporting Elvis hair. Well, I never.

Cooking = valuable skill set

2006-06-07T13:01:00.000-04:00

As most of my mates know, I'm something of a foodie. Despite my various and strange gastronome dislikes, I am a big fan of food, if not cooking itself. Usually I'll try anything once and some things a few more times. I grew up around cooking, more or less. My mom's Hispanic (or as I like to call her: "spic-tacular") and she always made homemade Mexican food, which beats the pants off any of that crap you get at so-called "Mexican" restaurants. She makes her own tortillas and other dishes that make my mouth all drooly to think about. Also, I have a very Southern grandmother on my dad's side who was all about cooking a big spread every Sunday and Wednesday. Fried fish, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cornbread, biscuits, mac'n'cheese, at least one kind of pie and one kind of cake, you name it. Unfortunately, I don't have much of a taste for Southern cooking, not since I discovered Indian, Vietnamese, and Japanese cuisine as a teenager. Now here was something to really enjoy. Saag paneer, crushed rice with lemongrass chicken, and sushi?

You can take your Southern cooking and shut it.

Over the past few years I have become a more than capable cook. I do have a few specialties: pasta puttanesca, white bean chicken chili, roasted veggie quesadillas, Quiche Lorraine, etc. I am always trying new recipes and new ways of cooking. I wish I had a grill pan, another chef's knife, two large wooden cutting boards (one for veg, one for meat), and loads of other things I never dreamt I would want as a kid. And if there's one thing I hope this skill set comes in handy for, is making someone a nice meal. With wine. And then cigarettes.

Anyway, all this food rambling has led up to this: the coolest cook ever. He rocks my socks off.

And the list of food I don't like?

* calamari
* mushrooms
* pickles
* fennel/licorice/anise
* red meat
* eel

But for the record, I do like: caviar (yet, oddly enough, not on sushi), anchovies, and dark chocolate.

Rubbish transvestites

2006-06-06T12:29:00.000-04:00

I dare you to watch this and not laugh. I have added "meet Matt Lucas and David Walliams" on my list of Things to Do Before I Die.

BBC, ITV, Sky....it's all good stuff.

2006-06-05T14:00:00.000-04:00

This is one of my new favorite TV shows, Little Britain. Matt Lucas and David Walliams (and he's very pretty when not in his scary costume make-up, by the way) are some of most insane twisted comedic geniuses I've come across in a long time. Go put the first two seasons on your freakin' Netflix queue.

I also watched the ITV miniseries, The Second Coming this weekend. It stars my beloved Chris Eccleston as a man who discovers he's the Son of God. It's quite well done, really, and raises some interesting theological questions. Could've done without the cheesy bit towards the end, though. The DVD extras do include a bit of brief nudity on his part. I love it when you can slow things down with a remote just to watch to your content.

I should write an ode to the Beeb.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 14

2006-06-02T10:47:00.000-04:00

(in a singsongy voice)

And he's baaaack on telly tonight! Oh yes, he is! My Doctor is baaaack!

I Heart Tattooed Television

2006-06-01T14:21:00.000-04:00

I admit it. I love reality shows about tattoo parlors. Usually the whole reality show genre tends to leave me cold for the same reason I can't write about "normal" people. They're boring. They're predictable. And their lives are really not that compelling. Don't get me wrong; I know a reality show about yours truly would be dreadfully dull. Who would want to watch telly about a neurotic horror writer whose life consists of many cocktails, poor romantic choices, and endless hours jibbering like a madwoman at her computer when it doesn't do what she wants it to do? Hmm. Well, when you put it that way...

I digress. This was about my favorite sorts of reality shows. The kinds where the men are hot and very very tattooed. A&E has Inked; TLC has Miami Ink. The former is set in Las Vegas in the Palms Casino and is owned by Carey Hart, possibly the foxiest motocross biker EVER. The latter is, obviously, set in Miami at a shop owned by Ami James, possibly the foxiest classic car owner EVER. Really, Miami Ink is the more interesting of the two because their clientle tends to get more unique tats. Considering Hart & Huntington Studios is in a freakin' casino, they get drunk tourists who want the cheesy shit. Roses, tribal armbands, etc. If it were me, I'd consider that the worst souvenir ever. Don't get me wrong, I have some ink myself, but I am very choosy about I want put on my body. (FYI: the next one will be a pair of matching trucker girl silhouettes on my breastbone.) Anyway, the tattoo artists on Miami Ink are more personable (I freakin' love Garver; the man is genius); the guys on Inked--while super foxy, especially Jesse and Joey--don't seem to have intriguing lives. Which is sort of sad since they are in Las Vegas. On Miami Ink, I like the spats, Ami James' matter-of-fact philosophy, and yes, the really sweet tats. I hope this show gets another season but until then I'll watch Inked, if only to wait for a bit with Carey Hart. Admittedly, tattooed boys only became part of my life about ten years ago, but once they did, it's very very hard to go back to boys without.

That's a different entry. And one more suited to the blog you find on my homepage.

Does not compute.

2006-05-31T15:42:00.000-04:00

Granted, I like to do silly things. Yell at people walking when I drive by, swipe small things from friends' houses just to see if they notice, decide that random acts of petty vandalism keep my felonious hand in, what have you. But what I do not understand is why British hooligans do things like this. Admittedly, it does sound just weird enough that I wonder whom I could rope into doing something this ridiculous in the States. If you're game, email me. There are tons of arty crap we could nab for no apparent reason.

X-Men 3: The Last Review

2006-05-29T15:07:00.000-04:00

Let's just get this out of the way, shall we? This review is going to contain SPOILERS--if you don't like that, might I suggest you read earlier spoiler-free entries?

All right, are we done? Good.

Because I am so very very much the comic geek and one of those people who see movies they have been salivating over the very weekend they open, my Favorite Scientologist and I decided there was no better way to spend an idle Memorial Day afternoon than looking at mutants. It gives me the chance to put on my critic's pants--which are unbearably itchy at times--and sit in the darkened cool theater, eating candy.

(At this point, I have taken a pause to snack on said candy because I wrote about candy.)

Okay, first off: I am not going to go into the whole Bryan Singer/Brett Ratner drama. So Singer decided he wanted to spend more time with the Man of Steel than he did with Professor X. It was his choice. I will say this: I could tell it was a different director right off the bat. While Singer does big budget well, he also cares about the story, and Brett Ratner's directing gigs haven't exactly been what I would call "damn fine cinema," he definitely opted for visual spectacle over storyline. That's fine; I mean, it is pretty bloody exciting seeing the Golden Gate Bridge get sheared in half to form a new path to Alcatraz Island. I like special effects as much as the next person but not as much as say, people who dress like Star Wars characters. Again, being a writer, I like stories. The premise of X-Men 3 is fairly simple: a wealthy industrialist finds a "cure" for the mutant gene culled from a mutant called Leech. His impetus for finding this so-called cure stems from walking in on his young son furiously trying to remove the nascent wings on his back with any number of sharp objects. (That scene alone made me all squirmy.) Of course, years later, he announces he can cure the mutant gene, and it all comes down to perception. Professor X and his crew don't seem to have much of an opinion; oddly enough, it's Storm who gets on the soapbox here, telling the students, "There's nothing to cure. There's nothing wrong with us, any of us." My God, Halle Berry emoting. Must be the wig. Professor X looks curiously neutral. Wolverine glares. And Cyclops continues to mourn Jean Grey's death and look like a complete and total pussy while doing so. Seriously, that's all he does. Cry. Like. A. Girl. Meanwhile, the government has kidnapped Mystique and are holding her for ransom so they find that pesky Magneto. Don't get me wrong, I heart Ian McKellen, but man, does he love to act. He loves to tear up the screen with that lovely aristocratic voice of his, but sometimes he just needs to take it down a peg. Magneto's new right-hand man is Pyro (played by the awfully cute Aaron Stanford with a bad bleach job) and Pyro is itching to do what all young men yearn to do: set shit on fire. And I think we all know how Magneto feels about the possibility for the cure. I mean, we couldn't understand it enough from the first two movies where Nazism is implied at every freakin' turn. Mutants: the future, humans: assholes. I've got it. I couldn't get it more unless you dropped the Anvil of Obviousness on my head. And meanwhile, back at Cyclops' House of Heartbreak, he starts hearing Jean's voice in his head. (Some girlfriends just don't stay dead, eh?) So he goes back to Alkali Lake where he cries AGAIN and then the next thing you know, "Hey, here's my dead girlfriend looking way hotter than a dead chick has any right to look, but wait, this doesn't seem like her at all." Fanboys, you already know the Dark Phoenix storyline. And I'm thinking the rest of you can guess that Cyclops' won't get to enjoy his honey for too much longer. I'm okay with that. This is where the movie started to suffer for me. Too many stories trying to be told (I ain't even going to acknowledge the teen love triangle also put forth in the film)and not even enough attention paid to keeping them orderly and cohesive.

It goes like this: the Phoenix gets pissed, the Phoenix kills the Professor, and Magneto attempts to claim her for own his own. Wolverine, Storm, and Beast (played by a very game Kelsey Grammar) decide they have to stop Magneto from destroying the sad little mutant boy who is inadvertently responsible for providing a cure. Seriously, that part is sad. The kid has been nothing but a guinea pig for most of his life, so where's the pity? They take Iceman, Shadowcat, and Colossus with them--Rogue by now on her way to get the cure so she can touch people--to defend the humans and the sad little mutant boy. The battle at the end of the flick is fairly kick-ass; especially the "chase" scene with Juggernaut (played by the always awesome Vinnie Jones) and Shadowcat. Wolverine gets to stalk around and kill things--which I don't think he ever gets to do enough of in any of these flicks--Storm gets to be fairly useless, and Beast...well, he's just cool. The X-Men prevail as they always do, but not before they strip of Magneto of his powers, Wolverine kills the Phoenix, and essentially scour everything on Alcatraz Island to rubble. I know we all love to see these movies--especially us comic geeks--because we want to see what mutants make the cut. (Oh, Gambit, wherefore art thou?) But sadly, this venture out, too many mutants, not enough time. Angel doesn't really do much of anything in this film. He soars, he looks buff, but really? A little bit silly. Juggernaut, Multiple, and Callisto could have been more fleshed out, but weren't. Too many frying pans, not enough fire. Nonetheless, I have no doubt I'll see it as many times as I've seen the others. Perhaps repeated viewings will soften my opinion a little bit more.

Though I seriously doubt it.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 13

2006-05-25T13:54:00.000-04:00

As long as you people realize that the BBC is the one feeding me continous images of my beloved Doctors.

And lo, the audience said it was good.

2006-05-23T16:26:00.000-04:00

This won't be a very long entry as my computer is giving me hassles about posting pics, but I would like to thank everyone who has been reading this blog. And I would also like to thank them for sending me emails telling me that they enjoy it. I'm glad you enjoy it. I want you to continue to enjoy it. And feel free to email me and tell me about you would like to see more of. (For those of you who might say more Doctor Who, do you really think that's possible? You do? I do too!) I don't have any links or anything right now as my brain feels a bit fried. Oh wait, I do have one.

YouTube has been my bloody lifesaver for Series Two. It really has. It has deepened my appreciation of the Doctor and has ensured that my UK mates are no longer exasperated with me when I drop in on the Series Two threads because now I know what they're talking about.

If you're watching Series Two or haven't yet, my current favourite episode is "The Girl in the Fireplace." I dare you to watch and not get a little bit sniffly. The Tenth Doctor--whose pic I was going to post--learns what it's like to fall in love with a human, but of course, also finds out what happens when you lose them. Makes me a bit sad even thinking about it, really.

Anyway, thanks again for reading! Love you all!

Like a suicide off a bridge....

2006-05-22T14:59:00.000-04:00

I told you it wasn't all about him being the Ninth Doctor. Oh no. Watch the video--it's a fucking great song, by the way--and look at those amazing blue eyes.

Ticket for one to Salford, please.

The worse a horror movie is...

2006-05-21T11:00:00.000-04:00

...the more I tend to enjoy it. No foolin'.

When I got up this morning, I turned on TNT and discovered--much to my delight because I hated this movie when I saw in the theater six years ago--they were airing Dracula 2000. Naturally, I watched it. It's terrible. I mean, even as bad vampire movies go, this one stinks. I recall that the only reason I paid good money to experience that sort of suckage were three things.

1) It was filmed in New Orleans. I will watch any film regardless of awfulness if it features my old hometown and my favorite city in the world. (London and Tokyo are my other two favorite cities, in case you were curious.)

2) It has Jonny Lee Miller (Trainspotting, Hackers, Plunkett and MacLeane) in it. He gets to keep his accent. I get to keep drooling like an idiot.

3)

Nathan "my future ex-husband" Fillion. He's a priest. And I feel all flushed.

Yeah, this is a shitty movie. But I'll take a shitty vampire movie over...well, almost anything else. Such is the love of crap. If it comes on cable, just sit down and watch it. You won't suffer the loss of too many brain cells.

One of the things that kept me late last night was that I started watching a special on string theory on PBS. String theory's one of those things that give me the creeps when I think about it too long. I fell asleep halfway through, but it's supposed to come on later this week. Some parts of it, that I remember, were very much like "Quantum Mechanics for Dummies." It made me laugh.

All right, now I'm off to see if anyone procured me a copy of "Rise of the Cybermen" from Series Two Doctor Who. I must feed the geek.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 12

2006-05-20T18:35:00.000-04:00

And one day...he regenerates and is no more. *sniff*

The Ninth Doctor : Darkness Follows

2006-05-20T13:46:00.000-04:00

It's funny; I really intended this to be a media blog--and it will be, it does have its moments--but I've noticed that it's become more of a Doctor Who blog. It's where I showcase my love for this venerable sci-fi classic and display my opinions (usually very positive ones). As I've stated previously, even I, a Yank, grew up on this show. I remember with a strange hazy fondness: Tom Baker with his multi-coloured scarf, giant spiders, Daleks, and yes, to a lesser degree, Sarah Jane Smith. It was oddly exhilarating and to me, a bit scary. (C'mon, that thing with the giant spiders? Gah, it makes me shudder still nearly two decades later.) I loved horror as a child and it still resonates with me into adulthood. I chose to write pretty and scary stories as a grown-up. Doctor Who doesn't quite qualify as straight horror, and I've always been rather disdainful of science fiction, but as with all things, it has its moments. When I learned the BBC was going to revive the series, I was anxious, and I don't mean in an ecstatic way. I was wary because it had been a long time since I'd encountered the Doctor and the TARDIS. I wondered if that sense of magic, wonder, of awe I'd experienced as a child could ever be made real again. And I was quite pleased to find that yes, it could be. It was. I mean, it does help that the Beeb can make it look less cheesy than it did when it originally aired all those years ago. Anyway, here are my reasons as to why I think this current series has impressed me so much:

1) The casting of such a reputable actor like Christopher Eccleston. I know that I am a bit enamoured of him, but I have been following his career for years. He makes an excellent Doctor: a bit mad, a bit sardonic, and a bit dismissive.

2) An obvious reverence for the show. It's quite apparent that Russell T. Davies and company love the whole mythos for Doctor Who and it's endearing...even if they stumble a bit sometimes.

3) The relationship between the Doctor and his current Companion, Rose Tyler. I find it very fascinating that out all of the Companions we have ever met or seen, Rose seems to be the one that is the Doctor's equal. And Billie Piper is growing on me, even if she does wear way too much mascara.

Listen, I know that here in the States, we're well into Series One; within a few weeks there will be more new Who episodes for nearly a year. So this entry deals with the Ninth Doctor; it'll barely touch on the Tenth One. This far into the series and I echo everything Jacob from TWoP has discovered. This Doctor we've come to know and love because of his quirks, his ruthlessness, and yet his unusual compassion, is the darkest Doctor I've seen yet. Nearly every episode has been touched with death. As an ordinary man who has been monitoring the Doctor's appearances throughout history puts it in the introductory episode, "Rose": "Everywhere he goes, death follows him." And it's true. This Ninth Doctor, this survivor of the last great Time War, doesn't just go swanning about in time. He seems to end up in situations that call his decision, and usually it's a very bloody one. The loneliness, the aching awareness that he is the last of his kind is very evident in the eyes of Christopher Eccleston. He adores Rose, even though she can frustrate him, but it's also a look of knowing no matter how much he cares for her, one day she won't be there anymore. I mean, look how many Companions there have been. And it's not because the Doctor has been fickle--though there have been a few instances of that--it's more because no matter what, a lot of them have been human and therefore have limited spans. The Tenth Doctor so eloquently states in the Series Two ep, "School Reunion," "You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of my life with you." (Yeah, I know said I wasn't gonna, but it summed it up well.) He will always be the Lonely God, the Last Gallifreyan. And sometimes this makes him mean, and sometimes this makes him melancholy. I have observed that throughout Series One to his regeneration, that the Ninth Doctor learns the meaning of sacrifice, of letting your burden go, of grace, and of course, love. He gives his life for Rose in the last episode. I don't think that's something he could've done if he hadn't learned to change and give a part of himself. After all the death we witness in the series, the most painful one is that of the Ninth Doctor. There's something...poetic about that.

Sorry, this entry is late. Apologies.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 11

2006-05-19T15:35:00.000-04:00

This photo still is from the Series 2 episode I watched today called "Tooth and Claw." Quick summary: Scottish highlands, murderous kung-fu monks, Queen Victoria, one very very large werewolf, conspiracy afoot, the Doctor and Rose save the day, and the beginning of Torchwood.

Love the glasses.

The Doctor dances and I'm at ease.

2006-05-19T12:08:00.000-04:00

Once again, Jacob from Television Without Pity has done it again. Read his recap of "The Doctor Dances" episode from Series One of Doctor Who and tell me that if that doesn't tug at your heartstrings. In fact, allow me to reprint yet another of my favourite tidbits.

If you met the Doctor, you'd want to give him a hug. Possibly a kiss with tongue. But if you read his résumé? Madman. Warrior. Killer of peoples, of worlds, of heroes, and soldiers. A living genocide. Nine is about the choice: whom would you be? Then, what must you do?

Once again, I'm telling you--I'M TELLING ALL OF YOU--if you disregard this show as nothing more than visual masturbation for fanboys, sci-fi geeks, and the rest of the lot, you aren't anywhere near as clever as you think you are. Or will ever be, for that matter. The show is tied so strongly into the cultural landscape of the British, once again read Jacob's bloody marvelous recap, that it trangresses all boundaries. Where here in the States, the Doctor gets regulated to comic cons and small groups of geeks, over there, it is MAINSTREAM. People of all backgrounds come together in their love for this show. You have to remember, and we always forget this, we do: this is designed as a children's show. Every British child grew up with a Doctor from their childhood. Even I did and I'm a just an American girl. (Mine was the Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker.) The Doctor is important; he reminds us of errant heroism, of being clever without the aid of guns or weapons, and as Jacob has pointed out, the possibility of grace. Despite all the horrors and loneliness the Doctor endures, he's still here. He still believes in us "stupid apes." He's willing to help make the universe--wherever in time that may be--a better place. What's so wrong with that? If you truly love stories, believe in them, then what are you waiting for? It's time for you to rediscover your childhood. To believe in something like hope and sadness and what happens you're the last of your kind left.

It's on tonight at 9 PM on Sci Fi. I hope you'll be watching it.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 10

2006-05-18T16:27:00.000-04:00

I'm currently seeking employment as a Time Lord's companion, so if anyone--anyone at all--sees a large blue police box appear anywhere, let me know. I'll be on my way.

Squeak, damn you! Squeak!

2006-05-18T15:10:00.000-04:00

No explanation required.

Doing a geeky little dance

2006-05-18T12:19:00.000-04:00

Next week, you won't be able to pry me out of the freakin' movie theater. I'm-a see this probably three times and you're all gonna come with me. And yes, when Hugh Jackman dons the tight tight leather X-Men outfit, I'll be all over the floor.

What I want for my birthday this year

2006-05-17T14:39:00.000-04:00

I know my birthday's not until November, but that should give you plenty of time to either find or build me K-9. I just watched the Sarah Jane Smith and K-9 episode from Series two (told you I downloaded them! Hah! Yay me!) and cried like a baby when Sarah Jane (she was one of the Doctor's Companions from waaay back) told him that she couldn't be with him anymore. It was brilliant and moving. Now get on with finding me a "shooty dog thing."

Don't tell anyone I told you, but...

2006-05-17T11:25:00.000-04:00

...I sometimes like really cheesy pop music. I discovered this a year or so ago when I had to get up at, like, 5:30 every other morning. (Which I still have to do every now and again.) I didn't know that the only time MTV and VH-1 are legally allowed to show videos--MUSIC videos, no less--are between the hours of five a.m. and ten a.m. Color me shocked, surprised, and deep down, a little pleased.

And thus begins my education in the shameful knowledge of contemporary pop music.

You name it, I've probably hummed it and then feigned ignorance when you asked me what I was humming. I've sat down and watched the video and enjoyed it, all behind closed doors. And if I had the ability to download music, I probably would have so I could place it on mix CDs no one but me will ever hear.

So here are the top three audio guilty pleasures I keep enjoying this time out:

* "Move Along," All American Rejects --- I'm sorry but this shit is catchy as hell. I mean, it's really catchy. And it doesn't hurt that Tyson Ritter is one of the prettiest boys I have ever seen.

* "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me," Fall Out Boy -- I admit I'm kind of getting tired of every single new emo-punk band out there trying to outdo themselves and others by making every single freakin' track title so wordy and deep.(Hawthorne Heights, I'm looking at you.) Still, this song is pretty fun. I like the video too; it has vampires...and choreographed dancing.

* "Confidence (For You I Will)," Teddy Geiger -- Just another example of a pretty boy with a guitar and a need to sing about unrequited love. Dude, you're seventeen, at that age all love is unrequited! Still, it's a sweet ballad.

Listen, if it's between these cheese-tastic gems and the Weather Channel, I'll take...wait, you know, I LIKE the Weather Channel. No excuses then, I guess.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 9

2006-05-16T15:18:00.000-04:00

Two Doctors and just one little wide-eyed girl with adoration in her eyes. *sigh*

Best. Website. Ever.

2006-05-16T15:06:00.000-04:00

I now know new words!!! F'r example, I have a total pash for Christopher Eccleston.

Look, I don't criticize you for what you get up to when you're bored.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 8

2006-05-16T12:09:00.000-04:00

The ever-pensive Tenth Doctor hiding those deliciously pointy teeth. He's Scottish, y'know.

British tabloids and guilty pleasures

2006-05-16T11:35:00.000-04:00

I think everyone knows I'm an Anglophile. It's pretty damn obvious. My everyday speech is peppered with English terms; I prefer tea to coffee; I don't quite understand the beans on toast thing; and British television, especially, rocks my socks off. But you know what I really really love?

British tabloids. They are twice as clever and three times as nasty as American ones. The Sun, the Mirror, etc. Oh man, I could read these all day. But I won't because I do have things to do. But I will check; I will read my horoscope; I will applaud Kylie Minogue's courageous battle with breast cancer.

Anyway, tonight is one of my guilty television pleasures that while I'm confessing this to you, you cannot look at me like that. I am actually quite fond of Love Monkey with Tom Kavanaugh and Judy Greer. Let me tell you a secret: I am a sucker for any sort of movie or television show that discusses the ins and outs of love. Now I'm not a WB whore, but I do like Gilmore Girls because it's so very well-written and nicely done. And this series, while a bit heavy-handed at times, is also quite good. It's a lot to do with music and a lot to do with love. Again, total sucker. Love is a crazy complicated thing and I love it when some writer tries to sum it all up for us slackers. This is also a good time to tell you about other guilty pleasure, the one I only enjoy come Christmas time; I am a HUGE sucker for any film that involves the following three elements: 1)romantic comedy, 2)set during the holidays, and 3) involves an extraordinarily large British cast. No American movies need apply. Every year I watch Love Actually and every year I bum around my apartment in my whimsical pajamas with a bottle of wine and a cigarette, cursing the heavens. There are other ones, too, but best to ease you into this.

I just found this website off Boing Boing. It's some sort of weird German latex rubber gas mask fetish and when I saw it I thought immediately of the gas mask creatures from "The Empty Child" episode on Doctor Who. I find them vaguely titillating. But Germans scare me. Especially when you want to dress up like a refugee from the Blitz and do it.

*brrr*

These are what the things from "The Empty Child" look like. Except not all fetishy.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 7

2006-05-15T19:51:00.000-04:00

You do know that I heart him, right? That I want no other Brit before me? Or in me, for that matter.

Oh yeah, I made a crude sexual joke. Get over it.

When a sci-fi show becomes profound.

2006-05-15T18:56:00.000-04:00

I've been reading the Doctor Who recaps on here and this last paragraph of the recap of the episode "The Empty Child" was pretty brilliant and sad. It definitely encapsulates the theme of this Ninth Doctor.

Here's what I think. I think the horrors of a people stay alive in its fears. I'm an American: I don't know from the Blitz, or gas masks -- not really. I know they don't live in my fears the way they do in British horror. I don't know why Clive Barker is scary because he's very, very British, and when he tries to tell American horror stories, he usually fails. I often wonder what Bret Easton Ellis feels like to people who aren't American, by the same token. Or Joyce Carol Oates. I know that Americans dream, when they dream nightmares, of strangers in the house. Wolves at the door. I know that the best zombie movies of the post-Thatcher era have come from Britain, and I couldn't tell you why. But this is a story about the invasion of a country in 1941 -- a country of the children of the war, trying to find the lioness inside the mouse, screaming for their mothers. And that is terrifying. I think the Doctor dreams of being alone, locked in a cellar or a glass house, with no way out. I think the Doctor dreams in Dalek voices. I think that this season (this Doctor) is about being an orphan -- about war taking everything away. Every single thing. And I think that the Doctor is about preserving that last spark of himself, that individuality, beyond extinction. Saving himself by saving the world, just like Peter Tyler. So I think, by any stretch, he's being a champ here, because all he wants to do is love that child, that orphan, and, by doing so, redeem himself. Which is hard to do when the person you're looking to protect, whether it's in the Blitz or 2012 Utah or the Victorian era, turns out to be the thing you're most afraid of, because you can't run from your mistakes. You'll always get your hand bitten by the dog you abused. And I think that if this week is a basic horror story, then next week is a story of wonder, of grace -- which is what the Doctor most deserves. This is a show about earning that grace, and the show always goes the distance to do that, if nothing else. And I have this feeling that, next week, he'll maybe get to dance.

Maybe you non-Who folks will finally get that this show isn't all about my obsession with Christopher Eccleston. It's about some damn fine storylines and a whole lotta heartbreak. So if you haven't watched it, please...try to. It's just amazing fucking telly.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 6

2006-05-15T13:35:00.000-04:00

You're all worried for my mental health, aren't you? Aw, but he's so pretty!!!!

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 5

2006-05-15T12:01:00.000-04:00

He's so important. So very very important. He's the expert. He's brilliant.

I Heart Cartoons.

2006-05-15T11:50:00.000-04:00

I love cartoons.

Though it may be considered juvenile, asinine, immature, I tell you this: shut up. I love cartoons. Cartoons are the stabilizing force in my delirious world of insomnia.

I love this cartoon very much. I want to be a mad scientist who does insane genetic tampering with ponies. Y'know, ponies that can make my enemies' heads explode with a single "neigh."

I'm sorry. Did I say that out loud?

One day I will meet a nice man who--while being preferably British or such like--will like cartoons as much as I do. When I don't have to explain the references.

Oh, and thanks to the anonymous English poster who told me what "prang" meant and the type of the UK hip-hop I was referring to.

So much time and only one Time Lord.

2006-05-14T09:27:00.000-04:00

Would you believe I'm out of town and am still scavenging pics of the Ninth Doctor? This means I now frequent at least three different places dedicated to the show. There's my beloved mates on Barbelith, the super snarky recaps on Television Without Pity, and they have a great FAQ for the show by the way, and of course, the airer of the episodes in the States, the Sci Fi Channel. But I only to go that site to check the schedule and download pics that I can't find on the BBC's webpage for the show. (I bet you can only imagine how many pictures of Eccleston I have. Go on. Name a number. I bet you're wrong.)

Ask me anything at all about this current series. I bet I can even answer questions about series two as well.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 4

2006-05-14T00:26:00.000-04:00

Holy shit. David Tennant in a tux.

I've got some episodes to download now, if you'll excuse me.

British hip-hop makes me hot.

2006-05-13T17:22:00.000-04:00

The best thing about taking a small roadtrip is getting to listen to CDs you've been meaning to get around to, but haven't for some reason or another. And it's even better when it's a CD you nicked from Aurora Coffee.

Nothing sounds as good as stolen music, people. It's like mother's milk. Anyway, on route to South Carolina, I blasted The Streets' newest CD, The Hardest Way to Make An Easy Living. It's freaking brilliant. I've already forgotten what they call this type of hip-hop in the UK--you know, Dizzee Rascal and Lady Sov and all that--but to me, it's much more interesting than American hip-hop. (Is it the accent thing? I guess.) Mike Skinner was just a boy from the council flats and this CD details his ascent and subsequent fall. The only thing I need clarified for me is this piece of Brit drug slang: what exactly is "prang"? From I can gather it sounds like coke or meth. You English people, help me out.

So the new Streets' album is my pick o' the week. It's tight, well-written, and if you're an Anglophile like me, you probably still won't understand half of what he's saying.

Last night: "The Doctor Dances" episode of Doctor Who. Captain Jack coming on all tarty to both the Doctor and Rose. The Doctor displaying his dance moves. And being cross with weird nanogenetic creatures. *sigh* Continuing to win his way into my heart.....

I'm a re-TARDIS, Pt. 3

2006-05-12T14:59:00.000-04:00

You people have a long road ahead of you. You know that, don't you?

Television is making my brains fall out

2006-05-12T12:48:00.000-04:00

It really is, people.

I'm not saying I watch a lot of it, but what I do watch, I watch obsessively. (Again, Doctor Who, anyone?)

I went back to one of my old mainstays--CSI--for the two-part season finale last night. For those of you who don't know, or don't care, CSI appears to be about forensic science but in actuality, is more like rampant sex and gore for the average American viewer. If they can dress it up under the pretense that's about "the science", then the FCC will leave them the hell alone, I guess. Nonetheless, it's a good show and it features some of the most ridiculously beautiful people you have ever seen. To me, that right there is a suspension of disbelief. Men who are damn-near model pretty do NOT work in crime labs. I don't care what you say. Well, I've been behind this season, but the good thing about this show is that the stories are fairly self-contained and do not require much in the way of backstory. So I watched. I made comments--mostly ones of a lascivious nature towards Gary Dourdan. I wasn't entirely too surprised at the ending--Brass gets shot, the CSI team is in shock--because it wouldn't this show if one of the team didn't get somehow royally screwed in some way. Remember Nick from last year? Poor bastard can't even get through the new season without crying like a bitch. But I go on...

Heh. I just found out that production for Fantastic Four 2 goes under way in August. You know what this means! Well, hello, Mr. Fantastic.

I'm trying to figure out where along the line I became boy crazy. It certainly seems like it, yes?

I have made a list of the scariest televisions shows on the air right now. You can agree or disagree with me (and not surprisingly, a majority of them are on MTV):

* Date My Mom -- Nothing can ever EVER compare to this insanity. I am horrified.

* Parental Control -- Because every relationship I had would have been so much better if
I let my folks chose. *shudder*

* Deal or No Deal -- Well, at least Howie Mandel's getting work. Germophobe has-been.

There are others but I don't feel like exposing how much crap I let myself endure on a weekly basis.

And just before you think you'll get away from this entry without a Doctor Who reference....may I present to you a recipe for the Sonic Screwdriver! (Courtesy of the Whooligans on Barbelith.)

20 ml gin
20 ml vodka
20 ml white rum
20 ml Cointreau
20 ml blue Curacao

Build in a highball glass, top with Sprite/7-up. Wait for large blue police box to appear.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 2.

2006-05-11T14:14:00.000-04:00

And this is my favorite Doctor. I aim to make Christopher Eccleston my future husband. I'll cheer him on through his participation in marathons, I'll watch Man U games with him, and I will listen to the beating of his beautiful heart in the dead of night.

I realize this is dead embarrassing, but really, you have no idea how much I want an Englishman.

Or a Welshman. Or a Scotsman. Or a Irishman.

I'm a re-TARDIS.

2006-05-11T14:09:00.000-04:00

You'll learn quite quickly that I am obsessed with Doctor Who. You'll get pics of my favorite Doctor, but until then, here's the newest Doctor.

I freakin' love that suit.

And when David Tennant smiles, his teeth are all pointy. They look deliciously sharp.

Well, here we are.

2006-05-11T13:13:00.000-04:00

At the advice of my favorite Scientologist, I have started a proper blog. Now I'll just as much time to kill as everyone else.

Until I get this up and running, please do check out the current blog: http://www.myspace.com/medea_whore

Get ready for the madness, baby!