Friday, June 30, 2006

Put down that cocktail! You're endangering the country!

So much for new pub hours.

At this rate, those of us who have vices will be forced to remain indoors, blankets over our windows, and praying Big Mother doesn't see what we do.

Friday, June 23, 2006

If I post something English and funny, will I be forgiven?



Right. So I apologize for not being prompt but a lot of shit has been going on. I still love all of you and will be back to full on scary Doctor Who speed in a couple of days.

I think a few of you owe me an email and a drink.

Anyway, see you soon...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 18



Bunny says if I don't watch myself, then I won't be allowed into the UK.

Ever.

And yet, I cannot resist....

Monday, June 19, 2006

And the award for creepiest drama goes to...

...Nip/Tuck.

Shaz came over after her disastrous date Saturday with beer in tow and we stayed up until 3 am watching this delightfully trashy show. At some point, I said, "I don't know if it's the alcohol talking, but this may be the best show EVER."

And then bits with the paedophilia and Christian Scientists and the girl with the fucked up face and the molestation came on.

I amended my statement and said, "I take it back. This may be the creepiest show on television."

Still, it's the kind of so trashy it's good. I've been watching it for a while now and the taboos they manage to break astound me. How do they get around the FCC?

Anyway, if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, well, pop yourself some popcorn, get it from Netflix, and rot your brain for a bit. The show will make you feel positively well-rounded.

Oh and Julian McMahon is shirtless and slutty for most of it, so that's all good.

Friday, June 16, 2006

This has left me speechless...

Jacob's recap of the series one finale.

All I can say is this: no matter how many times I've seen this episode or how many times I read this recap, I will sit here in stunned silence with tears rolling down my face.

I nod my head and understand about the power and beauty of grace and choice.

Open letter to Russell T Davies

Dear Russell,

Much to the detriment of my long-term standing over at Barbelith, I have sought out the rumors and half-truths surrounding Billie Piper's returning to season three Doctor Who. Well, sir, imagine my surprise when I read this article and this one as well. My sainted stars, that is a tragedy! But sir, might I recommend another way of giving the Doctor a Companion? Has there ever been in the history of the Doctor an American Companion?

(I hear the armies of the faithful light their torches and come for me.)

Think about it! The possibility! A different perspective on the Universe other than the beloved British one. It also gives you a chance to put us Americans in our place via the scripts, if you should so choose.

Imagine: the Doctor wandering around Hyde Park, thinking about the loss of Rose, when he bumps into a young woman who is very clearly lost. Her bewilderment and lack of articulation amuse the Doctor; so much that when she says, "I'm lost. Can you help me (insert landmark here)?" With that brilliant goofy grin of his he replies, "Oh, I could! But would you like to see something even better?" And off he leads her to the TARDIS.

Just my 2p, sir. Or at the very least, make sure the new Companion doesn't start out strong and end up a screaming mess.

Yours very sincerely,

Kali

Thursday, June 15, 2006

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 17



"Oh...hello. Right. Um. New teeth. That's weird. So...Barcelona..."

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

*sigh*



Oh yes, and I haven't made myself clear, my newest English crush is David Walliams from Little Britain.

I'm not entirely sure what it is with me having crushes on men who have appeared in drag at some point, but I don't think it's overly worrying.

This post is slightly hungover.



So I am going to let the only gays in the Welsh village of Llandewi Brefi take the reins.

(cue Tom Baker narration)

"Meanwhile, the sleepy sad visage of a young woman types uselessly at her computer. I hope she won't notice that we are observing her. Especially since I like observing young women."

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Thank you, Sci Fi Channel.

You are now my best friend. I mean, we're close, not as close BBC and I are, but I will come to your cocktail parties.

Especially after you have given me this wondrous, joyous news regarding the Doctor:

The first season of the new series wrapped up with the season finale last week. The second season will kick off in the U.S. on Sci Fi Channel in October.

Oh blimey, I'm tearing up....

And for those of you reading, why don't you go and check out Torchwood? Seems like a lovely place to have a wedding....or begin a first line of defense against "foreign" threats.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 16



"Before I go, I just want to tell you, Rose, that you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic! But you know what? So was I!"

Monday, June 12, 2006

Things I have learned from Monty Python's Flying Circus




1. No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition.

2. That parrot is, indeed, dead.

3. And surprisingly, yes, every sperm is sacred.

Friday, June 09, 2006

You magnificient bastard.



No, I mean it. You are a magnificient bastard and I want my heart back.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Hey, pally, why the long face?



I feel like such an ass. One of my heroes, Dean Martin, it was his birthday yesterday.

Here's to you, Dino. I'll raise a scotch on the rocks this weekend and know you're telling the best stories in Heaven.

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 15




David Tennant sporting Elvis hair. Well, I never.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Cooking = valuable skill set

As most of my mates know, I'm something of a foodie. Despite my various and strange gastronome dislikes, I am a big fan of food, if not cooking itself. Usually I'll try anything once and some things a few more times. I grew up around cooking, more or less. My mom's Hispanic (or as I like to call her: "spic-tacular") and she always made homemade Mexican food, which beats the pants off any of that crap you get at so-called "Mexican" restaurants. She makes her own tortillas and other dishes that make my mouth all drooly to think about. Also, I have a very Southern grandmother on my dad's side who was all about cooking a big spread every Sunday and Wednesday. Fried fish, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cornbread, biscuits, mac'n'cheese, at least one kind of pie and one kind of cake, you name it. Unfortunately, I don't have much of a taste for Southern cooking, not since I discovered Indian, Vietnamese, and Japanese cuisine as a teenager. Now here was something to really enjoy. Saag paneer, crushed rice with lemongrass chicken, and sushi?

You can take your Southern cooking and shut it.

Over the past few years I have become a more than capable cook. I do have a few specialties: pasta puttanesca, white bean chicken chili, roasted veggie quesadillas, Quiche Lorraine, etc. I am always trying new recipes and new ways of cooking. I wish I had a grill pan, another chef's knife, two large wooden cutting boards (one for veg, one for meat), and loads of other things I never dreamt I would want as a kid. And if there's one thing I hope this skill set comes in handy for, is making someone a nice meal. With wine. And then cigarettes.

Anyway, all this food rambling has led up to this: the coolest cook ever. He rocks my socks off.

And the list of food I don't like?

* calamari
* mushrooms
* pickles
* fennel/licorice/anise
* red meat
* eel

But for the record, I do like: caviar (yet, oddly enough, not on sushi), anchovies, and dark chocolate.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Rubbish transvestites




I dare you to watch this and not laugh. I have added "meet Matt Lucas and David Walliams" on my list of Things to Do Before I Die.

Monday, June 05, 2006

BBC, ITV, Sky....it's all good stuff.



This is one of my new favorite TV shows, Little Britain. Matt Lucas and David Walliams (and he's very pretty when not in his scary costume make-up, by the way) are some of most insane twisted comedic geniuses I've come across in a long time. Go put the first two seasons on your freakin' Netflix queue.

I also watched the ITV miniseries, The Second Coming this weekend. It stars my beloved Chris Eccleston as a man who discovers he's the Son of God. It's quite well done, really, and raises some interesting theological questions. Could've done without the cheesy bit towards the end, though. The DVD extras do include a bit of brief nudity on his part. I love it when you can slow things down with a remote just to watch to your content.

I should write an ode to the Beeb.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I'm a re-TARDIS, pt. 14




(in a singsongy voice)

And he's baaaack on telly tonight! Oh yes, he is! My Doctor is baaaack!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I Heart Tattooed Television

I admit it. I love reality shows about tattoo parlors. Usually the whole reality show genre tends to leave me cold for the same reason I can't write about "normal" people. They're boring. They're predictable. And their lives are really not that compelling. Don't get me wrong; I know a reality show about yours truly would be dreadfully dull. Who would want to watch telly about a neurotic horror writer whose life consists of many cocktails, poor romantic choices, and endless hours jibbering like a madwoman at her computer when it doesn't do what she wants it to do? Hmm. Well, when you put it that way...

I digress. This was about my favorite sorts of reality shows. The kinds where the men are hot and very very tattooed. A&E has Inked; TLC has Miami Ink. The former is set in Las Vegas in the Palms Casino and is owned by Carey Hart, possibly the foxiest motocross biker EVER. The latter is, obviously, set in Miami at a shop owned by Ami James, possibly the foxiest classic car owner EVER. Really, Miami Ink is the more interesting of the two because their clientle tends to get more unique tats. Considering Hart & Huntington Studios is in a freakin' casino, they get drunk tourists who want the cheesy shit. Roses, tribal armbands, etc. If it were me, I'd consider that the worst souvenir ever. Don't get me wrong, I have some ink myself, but I am very choosy about I want put on my body. (FYI: the next one will be a pair of matching trucker girl silhouettes on my breastbone.) Anyway, the tattoo artists on Miami Ink are more personable (I freakin' love Garver; the man is genius); the guys on Inked--while super foxy, especially Jesse and Joey--don't seem to have intriguing lives. Which is sort of sad since they are in Las Vegas. On Miami Ink, I like the spats, Ami James' matter-of-fact philosophy, and yes, the really sweet tats. I hope this show gets another season but until then I'll watch Inked, if only to wait for a bit with Carey Hart. Admittedly, tattooed boys only became part of my life about ten years ago, but once they did, it's very very hard to go back to boys without.

That's a different entry. And one more suited to the blog you find on my homepage.